They really said that? Laughs with lawyers.

By Calibre Press  |   Dec 6, 2019

Word has it these were actual questions from lawyers taken directly from court records. We can’t swear to that, but we can attest to the fact that they’re pretty funny.

1. Is that the same nose you broke as a child?

2.  Q: What happened then?

A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”

Q: Did he kill you?

3. Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?

4. Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize that picture?

A: That’s me.

Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

5. Now, doctor. Isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

6. Q: Now Mrs. Johnson. How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

7. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

8. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are?

A: It’ll be three months on November 8th.

Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at that time?

9. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

10. Q: Mr. Smith, do you believe you are emotionally stable?

A: I used to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

11. So you were gone until you returned?

12. Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there girls?

13. You don’t know what it was and you don’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

14. Q: You say that these stairs went down into the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs. Did they go up also?

15. Were you alone or by yourself?

16. Q: Have you lived in this town all of your life?

A: Not yet.

17. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

18. Q: Do you recall the approximate time you conducted the autopsy on Mr. Edington?

A: It was in the evening, around 8:30.

Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, correct?

A: No, stupid. He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Funny? You be the judge.

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