Lawyers I’ve Known

No. 3: Phone it in ... ?

By Dave Grossi  |   May 26, 2015

Most lawyers live large. Large cars. Expensive suits. Rolex watches. I guess its part of the image. So when my client wanted to fly down here to southwest Florida to have a face-to-face meeting with me to give me the case file and my retainer check, and booked a conference room and lunch for our meeting the local Ritz Carlton Beach Resort, I didn’t find it all that unusual.

As it turned out, we bumped in to one another as he was checking in. I was at the desk, too, informing the front desk receptionist that I was here for a meeting and had to meet my client in the Sunset Suite. Attorney Smith heard me, recognized me, and shook my hand. He asked me to please wait in the lobby, as he wanted to bring his bag to his room. He told me he’d be down in about 5 minutes.

“No problem, Tony. I’ll be here.”

5 minutes turned into 10. 10 into 20 and finally, I called his cell to see if he was alright. No answer. So I went to the front desk clerk and asked if she’d please call Mr. Smith’s room for me. She complied and when Attorney Smith answered, the desk clerk handed me the phone:“I’ll be down in a minute, Dave,” he said.

“I was beginning to get worried, Tony. Just wanted to make sure you were all right,” I said.

“I’m okay. Be right down.”

Again, 5 turned to 10, and 10 to 20 minutes. But eventually Attorney Tony Smith came down.

“You all right?” I asked.

“Yeah. You won’t believe this, man. I was taking a piss and while standing at the toilet I dropped my brand new Smartphone in the bowl as I was checking my emails. I pulled the battery out that’s why I didn’t get your call. I was drying the inside off with a hair dryer when the room phone rang. Sorry.”

“No problem, Tony,” I said.

Then he held up the still dripping unit up for me to see.

“It looks like its working okay now. Here, see: It’s the latest version.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” I said. “By the way, you got my check?”

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Dave Grossi
Dave Grossi is a retired police lieutenant from upstate NY now residing in southwest FL. He was the Lead Instructor for the Calibre Press, Inc. Street Survival Seminars from 1988 through 2000.